A SOFT GOODBYE - CELTIC WOMEN

A Soft Goodbye




when the light begins to fade

and shadows fall across the sea,

one bright star in the evening sky.

your love's light leads me on my way.

there's a dream that will not sleep,

a burning hope that will not die.

so I must go now with the wind,

and leave you waiting on the tide.

time to fly, time to touch the sky.

one voice alone, a haunting cry.

one song, one star burning bright,

may it carry me through darkest night.

rain comes over the gray hills,

and on the air, a soft goodbye.

hear the song that I sing to you

when the time has come to fly.

when I leave and take the wind

and find the land that faith will bring,

the brightest star in the evening sky

is yours to find for me.

is yours to find for me.

Seattle, WA, March 11, 2011

My brother Tom will live out the words to "A Soft Goodbye" in the coming hours or days. As a family, we have unanimously agreed that to continue heroic measures to prolong his physical life is not in his best interest. After consultations with his Medical Team, all are in agreement that it is time to let nature take its course. Tomorrow they will begin to remove certain life support systems that are keeping him alive physically, but are not sustainable for any quality of life that he would choose for himself. It is an agonizing decision that I have made with many of you who read this blog. To have to let go and release loved ones into the merciful hand of God is one of the most difficult decisions we ever make in life. Graciously, every member of our family is in agreement and that in itself is a minor miracle. Sometime in the afternoon, they will begin the Palliative Care Process for Tom and we will surround him with worship and song. Our daughter, Hanna, plays the Mandolin and we will conduct a service of consecration and committal. There is a beautiful liturgy from the Book of Common Prayer that has been used for hundreds of years that we will borrow from.

Tom was my next older brother. I have spoken of him in previous blogs. During my battle with cancer and particularly during my Stem Cell Transplant process, he has been at my bedside as much as he was able. They tested all of my siblings to find a suitable donor, but none was found. I cannot tell you how many times he asked me why he wasn't chosen to be my donor. I had to explain that it just wasn't an appropriate match. He never accepted that fully. He so desperately wanted to give me a second chance at life that he would have gladly given his life for mine. As a Vietnam Vet, he had already stood in the gap as a medic and risked his life to save others. Jesus described something like that when he said: "No greater love exists, than to be willing to give your life for another." Although he was 5 years older than I, we were in many ways much closer in maturity and experience. Having no biological children of his own, he was a better Father to my children than I was. They were truly special to him. He took countless videos of their birthdays, sporting events, holiday celebrations and spontaneous dramatic productions they created at Christmas and New Years. In the last months, he had a burning desire to preserve those documents on DVDs. Maybe he had some intuition that something made that a priority, those approaching the end of life are given insights, if they are willing to listen. He was a Jack of all Trades and Master of Many. Whenever he came to visit us in Walla Walla, I couldn't keep him away from the welder or other tool, trying to help out anyway he could. Most of the time it was truly valuable and appreciated. Occasionally, it was more work keeping him working and I was exhausted trying to get my stuff done and keep him from getting bored. He adored Kriss and I'm sure was deeply envious of the gift she is to me. I will be forever indebted to him for being the father to my children that I choose to or was not able to be to them. Maybe that is the true essence of family. No one single individual can meet all the needs of even one other person emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually. Rather than grieve my failure as a Father, I can celebrate the gift of his love and devotion for my children.

In the coming days, we will hear him say his soft goodbye and find the land that faith will bring. God has gone before and prepared a perfect place, just for him. A garden in which the angels do all the weeding. Beautiful wood and stones to make works of art. Time with famous fishermen of the scriptures to feel the sun on your back and the gentle breathe of heaven on your face. Reunions with family and friends who have gone before. A perfect resurrection body with no pain or earthly limitations. Peace, in the presence of the Prince of Peace. If it sounds too good to be true, just search the promises of God in scripture and claim them by faith in Christ for your own and it will make us all envy him just a bit for his liberation from this world of woe. Robin