VALENTINE'S DAY 2011

FEBRUARY 14, 2011, SEATTLE, WA, RAINY, 45 DEGREES.

Of all the scriptures on love in the New Testament, I am inspired by those in Romans 12:9ff. "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." These words have a special personal relevance to me and our family today. My brother Tom, who has been in intensive care here at Harborview for just over 2 weeks took a major turn for the worse this morning. He has been on a medical roller coaster since his arrival in Seattle. Friday he had a dramatic afternoon of consciousness and awareness, only to fall back early Saturday morning. He has some source of infection that they are currently treating with four antibiotics, but they cannot find the source of the infection. He is retaining fluids which may be putting too much stress on his lungs. In fact, they thought at one time this morning that he had had a pulmonary embolism, but they are now thinking it is more external than internal pressure on his lungs. He has four different sedatives working to keep him in an artificial coma and a drug to keep his blood pressure from going too low. The last conversation Kriss and I had with his head nurse before we left for home was that he is at the point where he has no more natural reserves and that he is at great risk if he continues to cycle these severe downturns. I have had the opportunity to pray with members of my family who are here with whom I have never prayed with in my life. God has put us here for this time in order that we might be a source of strength and spiritual hope for Tom and other family members. We pray that we can be a witness for the love of Christ to all of our family and those who are caring for my brother.

I am putting myself at some level of risk by coming to Harborview. I am very careful to keep as sterile and safe as possible, but it is a risk that I feel I must take for a greater spiritual and eternal good. On Friday afternoon when Tom came out of his coma, I was sitting down the hall in a waiting area and Hanna came running and told me that he was asking for me specifically. It was a gift for him to think of me at that moment and we shared a special time of greeting and prayer. I will never forget the gift of those moments and whether we have years more to share that brotherly affection, or just cherish the memory of that moment, I thank God for that day. I have been through this process with literally dozens of families over the last 30+ years of ministry. In some ways, I know too much about the telltale signs and patterns of recovery and or decline. Within 7-10 days, Tom will either make some form of dramatic improvement, or he will continue to experience periodic cycles of intensifying medical crisis which will necessitate our family making some very difficult life and death decisions. I would covet your prayers for Tom and all of my family as we walk with him through the valley of the shadow. God is a good shepherd and his rod and staff will comfort us.

On my own medical front, we are continuing to see slow, but steady progress. I only have to go to the SCCA two days a week now. I am receiving almost 7 hours daily of home hydration and IV infusion medication, but we have a portable pump and my perfect nurse, Kriss, makes sure I keep on schedule. In addition to the 40 pills I have been taking daily, they have added a new medication. It's called Beclomethasone in corn oil, no kidding. It is a drug designed to protect the inside lining of both the stomach and intestine. It is used to treat Graft-vs-Host Disease. Beclomethasone in corn oil emulsion is a carefully compounded drug that can only be prepared in special compounding pharmacies. The instructions for the preparation of this compound sound like the early days of medical science. We might find some old codger from 100 years ago who could whip this stuff up without any effort. I have to take it 5 times a day and we will have to go on line when we come home and find a pharmacy that can actually fabricate it for us. The more modern medicine moves forward, the more it seems to reach back and resurrect the best of the past. I now am taking daily an artificial black bear bile medication plus corn oil suspending this fine powder. Maybe I should just eat massive amounts of popcorn and see if that doesn't do the trick.

My weight loss appears to have stabilized at 33 lbs since January 11. My appetite is getting better and I try to get in as much protein as I can. I am also working on our stationary bike every time I do infusion here at home. I need to rebuild some muscle mass and endurance without too much weight gain. I am sleeping OK, but all the hydration keeps me up and down during the night. With my brother's condition so precarious, we won't be taking any day trips for a while. We need to be available for him at a moment's notice. I also continue to run into people we have met at the Cancer Center. I sat with two guys this morning that I have gotten to know and God continues to use us to minister to other patients and staff. Many of my Techs are reading the Blog and they comment to me about the impact it seems to have on their lives and perspective. I know God has many, many reasons for us to be here at this time and for this purpose. I would never intentionally choose such a ministry, but we are called to trust and obey and leave all the rest in God's gracious hands. The greatest privilege any of us has in life is to be an instrument of God's love, not just on Valentine's Day, but every day we are blessed to share in this world; to God be the Glory.  Robin